My closest friend, Charlie O'Brien died more than five years ago. There's a small circle of people who still keep in touch because of our connection with him. When we meet, we always share stories about our lost friend and we drink a toast and call him "special?"
What was special about Charlie is that he gave each of us, something that people always need: encouragement.
Charlie rarely, of ever, told us what we should do. Instead he encouraged us to do what we could do. He was a "Yes, you can," kind of guy. He encouraged us to take risks, to pick ourselves up and try again, to keep going even when it hurts, costs or feels lonely.
Charlie was my editor and my writing mentor. I miss him the most when I write books. It's lonely, frustrating work and I doubt very many authors get through the process without some self-doubts. If Charlie were here and in my corner it would help.
The other day, I was scrolling through Twitter, reading one person after another offering encouragement on all sort of topics. I see it on blogs, in Friendfeed even on the increasingly wretched Facebook.
We urge each other on. We comfort each other's hurts. We give tips on getting jobs, running in races, beating diseases.
We are a "yes, you can" culture. I have called it a cult of generosity, which is similar. But encouragement is slightly different and it's something we all need. And in social media we often get it.
Nothing will ever replace Charlie O'Brien in my life. But I am very, very grateful for the encouragement I so often get in social media and it is one more reason social media is so valuable to so very many people.
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Well said, Shel. Every little push forward make our lives and the lives of those around us that much better.
Great story! Thanks for sharing. The importance of optimism and can-do attitude is up lifting. It's very refreshing to read something in the "yes, you can" vein that's free of ideology. We don't all have to agree, and often will not. But we all do have a subset of shared purposes whether we recognize them or not. Sometimes people are so consumed by their differences that they fail to identify the commonalities.
Thanks for your post Shel. I've often felt the same especially when I've reach out and people so generously give of themselves. Counting you among those kind folks.
Great post Shel. Encouragement is such an important element and takes so many forms, particularly when you least expect it (or from whom you least expect it). It is a good reminder to thank those folks who are providing this encouragement.
@kyleflaherty
Really nice post Shel. I think what you are doing is identifying a specific kind of interaction that often expressed in social media that would be a subset of what Dayna Boyd refers to as "social grooming". http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2009/08/16/twitter_pointle.html
The process of encouraging or mentoring someone is an important skill in social circles and I think it takes on more significance and is more symbolic when it's done in as public place as the social web.
@karllong
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